Ponderings
- I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
- Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you were planning to go? But instead of just turning a 180, you have to first do something like check your watch or answer your cell phone to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions mid-stride.
- Do you remember when your Nintendo wouldn’t work as a kid? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that. There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s to tell us how to fix the problem. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
- There is a great need for sarcasm font.
- Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I really had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I’ve got nothing else of significance to say to you”.
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
- How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
- I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- ”Do not machine wash or tumble dry” might as well say, “This garment will never be washed as long as you own it.”
- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
- I’ve collected every song in my iTunes. So how is it, when it’s on shuffle, that I hate 80% of the music?
- Sometimes I’ll look down at my phone 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- There are people in my phone that I’ve edited their name to “Don’t answer this.”
- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
- I wonder if cops ever get frustrated that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
- I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
- Brainless decisions make the best stories.
- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where I’m from; this shouldn’t be a problem….
- My friends’ 4-year old son asked me the other day “Treber, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How do I respond to that?
Hope we aren’t in the “do not answer this” category….
I’m sorry, who is this?
: )
Very good phrase
haha…
I can’t take credit for much of this list. I got most of it sent to me in an email from my friend, Becca.
She’s funnier than me.
The Mario Kart one is really hilarious to me because when Griffin was younger and really (really!) into his Mario Kart phase, I did actually spot a banana peel in the road and instinctively thought that I should swerve aside to avoid it, but reality permeated my brain and I confidently ran over it. We all survived to tell the story.
This list is really awesome. I may have to swipe it for further use.
True story: I was stepping out of my car at Super Target the other day, and slipped on a banana peel. My first thought when I caught myself on my car was, “You’re kidding. That’s real!?
i miss you Trevor Ford.
So I legitimately lol’d reading this. It sucks that I have to differentiate between ‘lol’ and ‘actually laughing out loud’ because people are beginning to suspect that I don’t laugh out loud as often as I claim. Also, now I understand why I hate watching Almost Famous with other people. Most pressure-filled, stressful event ever as I watch to make sure they’re laughing and as I try to laugh really hard so they know that “Yes, that WAS funny… idiots…”
And it is sad but true that brainless decisions make the best stories. But only when you tell them to people you don’t know really well… “i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms” comes out much more freely and easily when it has no chance of getting back to people who know you from church.
I ditto what “Lisa” said. This should really be where you out your mental energy…musings and ponderings. Hope you are well…thought about you when we were at Hume this summer:)