The River
by Greg Boyd

I had an interesting time with the Lord Saturday morning that I’d like to share. As I typically do, I was spending the first part of the day laying in bed, remaining aware of, and surrendered to, God’s loving presence while paying attention to feelings inside of me. I felt this familiar “ache” in my soul that I’ve written about before. As I remained aware of God’s presence and explored what this ache was about, I suddenly found myself in a very vivid imaginative scene.

I was standing at the banks of a beautiful, wide, calmly flowing river. All around me and on the other side of the river were large trees reflecting the morning sun with a magnificent array of fall colors. I was also aware that Jesus was behind me, though it didn’t feel appropriate to turn and look at him.

Suddenly, all the things that are dear to me began to appear in front of me, one by one. I intuitively knew I was supposed to load each one on a raft and send it down the ever-flowing river, watching as it floated away and disappeared around a bend down stream. Just as one thing disappeared, another would appear and I would repeat the process. I can’t communicate how each of these things were represented in my imagination, but I ended up saying “goodbye” to all my possessions, all the activities that I love, all my accomplishments, all my most precious memories, and even all the qualities that make me the individual that I am. I felt the ache in my soul rise slightly as each thing was carried out of sight around the bend.

Then all the people who are dear to me began to appear before me, one by one, and I knew I had to release each one of them to the river as well. This was more difficult. They never spoke a word, but each had the calm look of resigned wisdom and a bittersweet smile that communicated compassion toward me. It was as though each person was saying; “Thank you for the life we’ve shared, but you need to let me go for now.” I knew they were right, though I felt the ache intensify as we embraced and then waved goodbye as the calm stream took them away from me. I wept as I watched each of my children and then my wife Shelley disappear around the bend, waving goodbye till the very end.

Then I was all alone. I stood for several moments staring at the quietly flowing stream and the beauty of my autumn surroundings. Despite feeling profoundly alone and empty, I felt a strange sense of harmony between the ache in my soul and the beauty of the river. It was as if my soul ache and the river were two sides of the same coin. And I knew I needed to embrace both. When I did, I felt like the ache as well as the river were my friends.

I then slowly turned around and saw Jesus, sitting on a tree stump with a tender smile and a look of serene wisdom. He nodded his head slightly and I teared up as I said, “You are enough. And I will trust you.”

I am more acutely aware than ever that the river never stops flowing, not even for a second. It eventually carries away everything and everyone we love. Yet, if we keep growing in our capacity to have Jesus as our sole source of life, we can trust that in the end, love will lose nothing — including the valuable lessons the ache in our soul is trying to teach us. Clinging to Christ alone while remaining aware of the relentless river that carries all things away allows us to cherish the people and things we love moment-by-moment.

I encourage you to embrace the ache; embrace the river; [give yourself fully to your] life and all that you love, moment by moment. And most importantly, embrace Christ.

Greg

Fallen Princesses
by Dina Goldstein

These works place Fairy Tale characters in modern day scenarios. In all of the images the Princess is placed in an environment that articulates her conflict. The ‘…happily ever after’ is replaced with a realistic outcome and addresses current issues.

The project was inspired by my observation of three-year-old girls, who were developing an interest in Disney’s Fairy tales. As a new mother I have been able to get a close up look at the phenomenon of young girls fascinated with Princesses and their desire to dress up like them. The Disney versions almost always have sad beginning, with an overbearing female villain, and the end is predictably a happy one. The Prince usually saves the day and makes the victimized young beauty into a Princess.

As a young girl, growing up abroad, I was not exposed to Fairy tales. These new discoveries lead to my fascination with the origins of Fairy tales. I explored the original brothers Grimm’s stories and found that they have very dark and sometimes gruesome aspects, many of which were changed by Disney. I began to imagine Disney’s perfect Princesses juxtaposed with real issues that were affecting women around me, such as illness, addiction and self-image issues.

There are 2 more to be shot for this series which is going on exhibit on Oct. 15/09
(Click for Slideshow)

or click here to visit Dina’s website

- Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you were planning to go? But instead of just turning a 180, you have to first do something like check your watch or answer your cell phone to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions mid-stride.

- Do you remember when your Nintendo wouldn’t work as a kid? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that. There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s to tell us how to fix the problem. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

- There is a great need for sarcasm font.

- Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I really had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- Was learning cursive really necessary?

- Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I’ve got nothing else of significance to say to you”.

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

- How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.

- I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- ”Do not machine wash or tumble dry” might as well say, “This garment will never be washed as long as you own it.”

- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

- I’ve collected every song in my iTunes. So how is it, when it’s on shuffle, that I hate 80% of the music?

- Sometimes I’ll look down at my phone 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

- There are people in my phone that I’ve edited their name to “Don’t answer this.”

- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.

- I wonder if cops ever get frustrated that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

- I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

- Brainless decisions make the best stories.

- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where I’m from; this shouldn’t be a problem….

- My friends’ 4-year old son asked me the other day “Treber, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How do I respond to that?

Below is a list of songs that I do like – counting down the 14 songs that connect my heart to God in my favorite ways.

With a number of the songs in this list, really good lyrics move into greatness simply by the delivery. Tim Hughes belts these words out – halfway through a passion-evoking crescendo toward the end of the song – and what a great choice of words to belt out!

God’s word is clear that there will be trouble for us in the world; there’s gonna be pain and sadness and situations we can’t see any good in. Even a person whose relationship with the Lord might be the absolute closest imaginable, they’re going to hurt a lot – maybe even more than the rest of us.
We’re not promised happiness (different than joy), but that when we don’t see light in our darkness, we won’t be overcome by it, and that in our despair not even we can convince God to quit pursuing the deepest parts of us in truth.
He is with us – in our coming and our going.

It’s a very humbling, yet strengthening thought that we can be knocked down, but we can’t be defeated. Sometimes the only place to find strength for today is in the hope God promises for tomorrow. One of my favorite things to remember and meditate on is that:
We spend our lives in Good Friday – but we live with the faith that Easter is coming!

There’s something honest about humility.

I volunteered at the Refuge for about a year – that’s a ministry at Woodland Hills for people going through some of the rougher aspects of life: addictions to alcohol, drugs, pornography, people going through divorces, the deaths of loved ones, or just people who don’t feel they “fit in” at church with all the cleaner people.

There wasn’t an ounce of pride in any of them; they’re weird like that. They were also aware of the freedom they have in Christ in ways I’ve rarely seen – or felt!
They know what life is like in the dark shadows of all the guilt that comes from their worst shit … to the point that they probably didn’t notice that word.
They know better than most what living in darkness and hopelessness feels like, and because of that, coming into the bright sunlight of God’s grace, hope and unconditional love awakens them to who they were created to be. They’re some of the most refreshing people to be around, especially when they worship.

God’s grace is fully ours in all of the darkest parts of our souls – the parts we wish weren’t there and don’t want anyone else to find in us. But where we feel the consequences of the death in us, the spirit of God enters and brings new life!

He loves us as we are, but too much to let us stay there. And it’s in our renewing that we get equipped to love others with that same incurable Hope in our siblings.

[The version of the song that's in the player is from the Passion: OneDay live CD, but my favorite version is from Breakaway Ministries, a church service that met on the campus of Texas A&M. It's one of my favorite worship CDs.]

“‘I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord.’
Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that defiles or distracts us, both within and without, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.”
2 Corinthians 6:18 – 7:1

What makes these lyrics work their way into my will when I sing them is the first three words that repeat in each sentence, “Give me one…”
I know that there are dozens of things I’ve pursued this week, and I’m sure the priority is often on things that should be further down the list.

When some people heard Jesus’ words, they started to lose interest and quit following him, saying what he was suggesting was too hard to make their sole priority. That’s when he asked his disciples, “Do you want to leave too?”
Peter often said some of the lamest things in the bible, but this time delivered, “Lord, where else could we go? You alone have the words that give life.”

When I sing this song, it calls me back to the one thing that truly has value: to know God and to look to him for my definition.

Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.
God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.
Ecclesiastes 5:2

In Exodus 4, when Moses was stressed about all his humanness getting in the way of what God was asking him to do, God reminded him who he was talking to.
When Job started to have all sorts of ideas about what should happen with his life and how things should work, God was almost sarcastic when he asked, “Where were you when…”
Many times in the new testament, Jesus said things that people in their ignorance couldn’t receive or understand. “My ways don’t often look anything like yours.”

I’ve been told I spend a lot of time in my head; being still is not something I do well – even when I quit moving and I’m by myself. I wonder what I should be doing. I need to fill up the silence. If there’s nothing to do, then I’d rather do nothing with music or TV or the internet.
I could even distract myself from silence by doing Christian things. I’ll stay and volunteer more time here at the church, or I could pick up and read a theology book or even put worship music on just to keep my mind numbly occupied. That way, I stay busy and I look all Jesusy to people.

I can hardly handle the silent awkwardness of standing in an elevator for 30 seconds with a stranger. But I could be silent in a room for days with someone I deeply love – because some other sort of communication is going on there. You’re not nervous about what to say to them or what they’re thinking of you – because you know.

To stand in God’s presence with no agenda, with nothing to say or do except to know God and be fully known … I need to practice that.

This is not a love song, but it is about unrequited love.

Ezekiel 16 starts off telling the story of how God valued his people, Israel – and how, in love, he made a covenant with them.
From there, it tells of what Israel did with God’s provisions, blessings, promises and love.
Then it ends with God saying how, despite how faithless they are to him, he will still honor his covenant to his bride.

This doesn’t define our full relationship with God (through Christ), but it does speak of our commitment and faithfulness.

We are Israel. And it’s not just that we go other places to get entertained or distracted, sometimes it’s to search for life and meaning and value in places we’ll never find it.

It’s great and wonderful to sing about the grace, mercy and forgiveness we find in Christ – that couldn’t be more true. But in there somewhere is the difference between an apology and true, gut-wrenching repentance. It’s easy to say “I’m sorry for hurting you (or “sorry that you’re hurting”),” then rejoice in the fact that our sins aren’t held against us. But repentance requires that we look at ourselves for how we’ve treated God, how we’ve thought of him, or how we’ve taken his love and commitment for granted. We need to know ourselves like that because we need to see what God overlooks to love us like he does.

Praise God that we’ve got a Savior that is always waiting at the alter for his bride to run back down the aisle to him!